I realized that I am averaging one post a month since my aortic dissection last November. That seems to be what I can do, given my low energy. I have decided for now to make them shorter, generally one point instead of many.
Acceptance
I will focus here on the notion of acceptance which is when we accept that this is how it is now, which is so often not what we want it to be.
All of the examples below involve seeing the actual situation more clearly, seeing that our attitude determines how we experience a situation.
Hating a situation makes it worse
Most people can relate to the weather: we complain if it is going to rain all day or be hot and humid or be a bitterly cold day. However when we stop hating it, stop wishing it were different, then it is generally manageable.
One time I was leading a body scan meditation in an introductory workshop. I mentioned that there might be some places where a person might feel discomfort or even pain, for example, lower back or shoulders. I said, "if this happens, see if you can stop hating the pain and explore how it actually feels." Afterwards, one person said that she was miserable during the body scan because she had done a vigorous gym workout the day before, her first time in the gym in months. Once I said those words she suddenly realized that hating it was making it so much worse and it became just unpleasant instead of miserable.
The power of asking "how is this really?"
When I go to bed, my legs often feel tired and achy and it can make it harder to go to sleep. However, whenever, I explore what tired, achy leg actually feel like, the aching feeling either goes away or subsides substantially. This also works for minor muscle pain or headaches.
Realizing that I can't control natural laws
My recovery after the June 30 surgery was much more challenging than after the January 14 surgery, and I had gotten into a complaining and grumbling mindset. One day I suddenly had the epiphany that I was like the little child who loves apples and was complaining that they were taking so long to ripen. In that moment, I suddenly realized that the pace of my healing was mostly determined by forces beyond my control. I realized that I was wanting the rate of recovery to be other than what it was. In that moment of accepting this, I was so much less miserable.
Perspective: seeing the larger picture
Perspective also helped me to accept the rate at which I was recovering. One day I read an email that a friend had just been diagnosed with throat cancer, pain every time she swallowed, and was going in for surgery. My pains suddenly felt so minor.
Compassion
Several years ago I was meditating at a retreat. It was winter and the person directly in front of me had a catch in her throat and every 30 seconds or so would clear her throat. I was very annoyed at first because this was making it harder for me to meditate. Suddenly I realized that she was clearly not feeling well and I felt a wave of compassion for her. I still heard her clear her throat, but it was no longer a problem. My attitude had been disturbing my meditation!
There is much more than can and has been written about acceptance, surrender, and letting go. I wanted to share a few practices and epiphanies that have helped me to see situations more clearly.