Last week we celebrated Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. The notion of "othering" lies at the heart of what he was fighting for. Othering can be defined in many ways, from treating certain people as intrinsically different from me to treating certain people as less than me.
Extreme versions of othering abound in history:
what South Africans did to blacks to justify apartheid,
what Americans did to slaves to justify slavery,
what the English did to the Irish to justify their brutal treatment, and
what armies do in training soldiers for war, with language like Krauts, Japs, and gooks.
From a developmental perspective, it's natural for people to create us and others. That is what clans, tribes, and countries do: what distinguishes us from others. In The End of Othering, Rhonda McGee asserts that "modern-day forms of racism, caste, xenophobia, and other kinds of categorical “othering” remain prevalent" and that othering always carries with it the threat of dehumanization. She has used mindfulness in her work with students to help them heal from the wounds that othering can cause. She believes that "integrating embodied mindfulness into racial justice work helps reconnect us to ourselves, to one another, and to our power to take actions together to change systems."
I recently read an article by Sister Tam Muoi, a white woman who is a monastic in one of Thich Nhat Hanh's communities. She spoke of the process of educating herself about racism. During this multi-year process, she participated in a retreat where "the facilitator guided us through exercises that brought to awareness how each of us has been conditioned from a very young age to discriminate against people of color. As White people, we still have a strong habit of seeing ourselves and our culture as 'the norm' whilst the global majority are 'the other.'"
I remember a black activist in the 1970s shouting that you cannot not be racist if you are white. That statement hit home for me. I was raised in the 1950s. Almost all of the people I saw on TV shows were white. People of color were almost always in subordinate roles. Women on TV were also almost always in subordinate roles. Think of the family TV shows during that time: Father Knows Best, Leave it to Beaver, etc.
In his book Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames, Thich Nhat Hanh strongly implied that in order to be angry with someone you have to 'other' them, to separate from them, to feel they're not like me in this way. I realize that when I have been angry or mean to my wife or my children, that I have in that moment 'othered' them. In those moments, I practice metta and compassion for them and for me and I apologize when I come to my senses.
Recognizing how deeply conditioned this notion of othering is for humans, Ram Dass and Mirabai Bush developed a meditation called Just Like Me. Below is an excerpt of the practice which I have done several times sitting face-to-face with another person. It is quite powerful.
This person has feelings, emotions, and thoughts, just like me.
This person has at some time felt sad, just like me.
This person has at some time felt angry, just like me.
This person has felt inadequate, just like me.
This person is learning about life, just like me.
This person wants to be caring and kind to others, just like me.
Because this person is a fellow human being, just like me.
I wish this person to be free from pain and suffering.
I wish this person to be peaceful and happy.
I wish this person to be loved.
Because this person is a fellow human being, just like me.
Thich Nhat Hanh made a powerful point in a talk where he said, pointing his arm outward, that before we can stop the big wars out there, we have to stop the wars inside ourselves, and then stop the wars within our family, and then within our community, and so on. I encourage all of us to look inward to notice when we are 'othering.' That is the beginning step to world peace.
Note: The article by Sister Tam Muoi can be found at: https://plumvillage.org/articles/what-can-white-people-do/