Metta as non-contending

An image during meditation
During a recent meditation I sensed an image of a screen where the images were moving from right to left. The screen represents what is happening in this moment, and this is constantly changing. Behind that screen was an image of a pair of eyes. This represents pure awareness which is neutral, simply observing, witnessing.

I know that what I pay attention to and how I pay attention is influenced by my responses to all that has happened in my life. This is essentially my past karma.

Rewiring the brain
The field of neuroscience supports the assertion that we can rewire our brains by making new choices rather than continuing to make old choices. Thich Nhat Hanh talked about habit energy, which can be changed. While old habits don’t change easily, they can be changed.

After the meditation, what arose were two practices that could assist me in bringing more mindfulness to each moment. Below is a description of the first practice.

Metta as non-contending
Metta is often translated as loving-kindness, and many authors have written about metta. One of my favorites is from a book called Walking the World (which is freely available online) by Ajahn Sundara:

“The first aspect of metta is non-contention, not contending with the world as it is. This involves intense training…Non-contending with ‘life as it is’ means giving space to oneself and others, not asking others to be what we want them to be…So this is something that we need to remember… There comes a point in the training when we realize that the only response to life is kindness, appreciation, encouragement and a sense of uplifting ourselves, inspiring our heart. Then metta becomes a very natural part of us. We can see ourselves as something natural in this universe, a kind of plant that needs kindness and attention…”

Noting the feeling tone of the moment
This notion of metta as non-contending connects to the Buddha’s teaching on The Four Establishments of Mindfulness. The first is awareness of the body and the second is awareness of the feeling tone of each moment: pleasant, unpleasant, and neutral.

I remember so clearly an idea from a course where the teacher told us that in every moment of our lives we are making choices about what to pay attention to. In each moment, we identify what it is (e.g., dog barking, pleasant smell, etc.) and in each moment our mind also labels this as pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. This labeling evokes memories and patterns of response (old karma).

When we bring mindfulness to this, we have the possibility of making a different choice. Here is an embarrassing example. As I was writing this morning, I wanted to quote a passage from a book. I was resting the book on my lap, trying to keep the page open and it wasn’t working. I became aware of being very irritated, ironic given the content of what I was doing. And yet irritation had arisen. This habit of being irritated when things don’t happen the way I want them to is a habit I inherited from my father. Despite so many years of working with it, it is still a frequent visitor (as Rumi puts it in The Guest House). Using Ajahn Sundara’s framing, I so often have a contentious response to that which is unpleasant, that is, not what I was wanting to happen.

Putting this into practice
Our teacher in that course encouraged us to take a full week to simply note when the feeling tone was pleasant or unpleasant. Most of us were stunned to realize that this was happening virtually all the time! What I have found over the years is that in that moment of mindful recognition, i.e., “I am seeing this as unpleasant,” my mind and body relax and that contentiousness simply dissolves.

So that is what I have been doing for the past week: bringing the intention to notice when my relationship to what is happening is contentious. It happens, in me, hundreds of times a day—a feeling of dread about the upcoming election, the handyman replacing siding on the back of the house, the dog barking, traffic on the way to the hardware store, the parking lot at the store full, etc. etc. And each time I have this awareness of contending with what is happening, my mind and body relax and I move to a non-contending relationship.