One of the biggest surprises when I returned from the Peace Corps in 1982 was how much happier most Nepali people were than most Americans. Many Peace Corps volunteers, living in many different third world countries, have made similar observations.
Part of the challenge is that humans are quite complex beings, and life in the U.S. is so much more complex than it was in Nepal. For example my blog posts alone amount to 116 pages: so many ideas and practices.
Yet in every moment we have a choice in how we respond. Victor Frankl stated that “between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness.”
One of my meditation teachers said that we actually got the core ideas of mindfulness the first time we meditated: mindfulness is being aware of what’s happening and being aware of our relationship to what’s happening.
Each day we wake up and we can choose to be aware of our relationship to what’s happening and to begin again. While I do not want to push away or deny the suffering of the world, I know that when I am overwhelmed with the suffering, I am no good to the people I wish to help and I am no good to the people I love. So it is a balancing act.
I believe that one of the reasons Nepalis are generally happier than Americans is that their lives are simpler. If you were to go into a store in the village of 2000 people where I lived and you wanted to buy a cell phone, there would be one or two choices; if you wanted to buy a cooking pot, there would be only a few choices. Part of our challenge in the first-world countries is being easily overwhelmed by so many choices.
Today I want to summarize some of basic ideas I’ve presented over the last year. Most of these can be accessed by typing a key word or phrase in the Search box on the Blog page on my website. I have also made a map which will be more useful for some people. You can see the map HERE.
Basic meditation practices
We have zoom lens (awareness of breath, body, mind, loving-kindness/compassion) and wide angle lens (mindfulness toward whatever is coming up).
Specific practices in the moment
RAIN, STOP, 5-3-1.
Attitudes that support meditation
They include:
• Being aware when I am reacting and not responding
• Distinguishing what I can and cannot control (it’s not always simple)
• Seeing ‘distractions’ not as a ‘problem’ but rather the state of my mind in this moment
• Asking “Am I Sure?”
• Standing back to see the larger picture
• Seeing mindfulness as heartfulness
• Aware that the “little” moments strung together make up our lives
Remembering to be mindful during the day
So many possibilities, including:
• Morning and daily rituals or practices
• Being aware of the quality of our listening and speaking
• Practicing generosity, gratitude, smiling more
• Mindfulness while walking, while eating
Stories
Most of my posts include stories from my life as well as stories from others:
• The cab ride I’ll never forget
• A teaching from a newborn baby
• The antidote to fear
• Marriage from a Nepali perspective: focus on the 90% that is wonderful
• My experiences with pain, anxiety, and resentment
Metaphors
Some people find great guidance from metaphors:
• Pouring gasoline on the fire
• Making mountains out of molehills
• Letting go: easy when it’s a hot pan on the stove
• Technology: pause, change the channel, you’ve got mail, restart
• Being caught in a rip current
• Turning garbage into compost
• Transformation from caterpillar to butterfly
Other sources
I have found great wisdom from many different fields:
• Nature
• The Four-Fold Way: archetypes of warrior, healer, visionary, teacher
• Internal Family Systems: all our parts want us to be happy
• Resilience
• Interdependence and Interconnectedness
If you have found any of these particularly useful, I invite you to share them in the Comment box below or send me an email (tombassarear@gmail.com). Similarly, if you have found other quotes, metaphors and practices to be helpful, I invite you to share them in the Comment box below.