I’m on the road for the next two weeks, so I’ve prepared two posts ahead of time.
Several years ago someone sent me an email with instructions from some agency about what to do if you see a bear. My friend said that if you substitute “thought” for “bear,” it fits for when you see a thought. This is the actual print, simply changing “bear” to “thought.”
The advice
There are no definite rules about what to do if you meet a thought. In almost all cases, though attacks are rare compared to the number of close encounters. However, if you do meet a thought before it has had time to leave an area, here are some suggestions.
Remember: every situation is different with respect to the thought, the terrain, the people and their activity.
• Stay calm. If you see a thought and it hasn't seen you, calmly leave the area. As you move away, talk aloud to let the thought discover your presence.
• Stop. Back away slowly while facing the thought. Avoid direct eye contact, as thoughts may perceive this as a threat. Give the thought plenty of room to escape. Wild thoughts rarely attack people unless they feel threatened or provoked.
• If on a trail, step off the trail on the downhill side and slowly leave the area. Don't run or make any sudden movements. Running is likely to prompt the thought to give chase and you can't outrun a thought.
• Speak softly. This may reassure the thought that no harm is meant to it. Try not to show fear.
• If a thought stands upright or moves closer, it may be trying to detect smells in the air. This isn't a sign of aggression. Once it identifies you, it may leave the area or try to intimidate you by charging to within a few feet before it withdraws.
Elaboration
It is important to remind that the standard instructions for mindfulness apply when being mindful of thoughts: we cultivate the intention to bring curiosity and acceptance (non-judgment) toward the thoughts. These two attitudes enable us to take that proverbial “step back.” So often we are so wrapped up in our thoughts, especially when we have been triggered, for example, by what someone said or an unwanted event, that we are practically on fire with the emotions that connect to those thoughts.
Here is a story from an interview with Mary O’Malley about her new book: What’s In the Way Is the Way: “Rather than being mad at your mate because they said they would call at six, and they don’t call at seven, you begin to become interested in what [this is bringing] up inside of you. And that is how we set free all of this bound-up energy that [in] its natural state is free-flowing aliveness.”
A story I have often related is that of a college student who was enraged when she came home to find that her roommate had not cleaned her mess as she had promised. A few moments of mindfulness and some perspective (“how mad will I be about this 6 months from now) enabled the person’s thoughts to calm down and then she was able to enjoy the rest of her evening. Stories like this enable us to appreciate the title of Thich Nhat Hahn’s first book: The Miracle of Mindfulness.