Generosity has been universally recognized as a foundational virtue for spiritual development. With Thanksgiving just two days away, this feels like an appropriate time to reflect on this quality.
Unpacking generosity
Generosity includes generosity of actions, generosity of speech, and generosity of thoughts. Actions can include generosity of time, resources, or money. We can talk about generosity to oneself, to others, and to the environment.
A story from the monastery
A story of generosity that touched me deeply was told by a friend of mine who had gone to the nearby Thai Forest monastery one day. After they had cleaned up after lunch, the Thai woman who had made lunch handed my friend a tupperware container and this conversation ensued:
“Here, you can take home the leftovers.”
“Since the food was offered to the monks shouldn’t it stay there?”
“The refrigerator is full.”
“Why don’t you take it home?”
“I can’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“I grew up in a small village in Thailand. Each morning my mother would cook a big meal. We would give some to the monks and then we would eat. Whatever was leftover we gave to people who were hungry. It was considered selfish to keep leftover food for yourself. I still have that habit.”
What a habit to have!
For a similar inspirational story, Google “A Buddhist Fable on Generosity.”
Two short stories
Two weeks ago I wrote about how Satish Kumar made a peace walk in 1973-74 from New Delhi to Washington DC, with no money in his pocket. He learned to trust the generosity and kindness of strangers. Recently, I heard about the Netflix series “The Kindness Diaries” where Leon Logothetis travels around the world relying on strangers for food, transportation and lodging.
Benefits of generosity
Although this is probably common sense, I saw an article titled Five Research-Backed Benefits of Making Generosity a Habit. The author cited studies backing these claims that generosity makes us healthier, makes us happier, lowers our stress, improves our relationships, and extends our lives.
The importance of being mindful of one’s intentions
Several years ago, I went to a meditation retreat which focused on the ten Paramis in Buddhism which begin with generosity. Here are some excepts from my journal about my deepening my understanding of generosity as a spiritual practice.
“I have enjoyed paying attention to the intentions underlying my acts of generosity. I have generally noticed multiple intentions: being generous from a sense of obligation, from a sense of it makes me feel good about myself, from an automatic point (e.g., opening doors for people), and from a deeper sense. Seeing all of these intentions with little or no judging has given me more clarity on my acts of generosity, and it has enabled me to feel more enjoyment from being generous. I remember the teacher saying, in reference to meditation, to let what's happening register before moving back to the breath, and I have noticed this in paying attention to generosity: by allowing the intentions to register, I see more and I see more clearly.
I have also enjoyed recognizing, with less judgment, when I am not generous. For example, I was at a retreat for academics. In one session, we were discussing how we were bringing contemplative pedagogical practices into our courses and our institutions. One member was teaching ESL in a Japanese business school. He was struggling with how to do this and asking for feedback. I found myself restless, wanting to move on. Upon contemplating my restlessness, I realized that a part of me was thinking, “There is so little in common between his situation and mine that this discussion is not useful to me.” I also noticed the generosity in my colleagues: in their tone, their body language, and their speech. My restlessness and selfishness subsided immediately, and I also shared some thoughts and asked questions to better understand his situation. I have found this to be true in other situations too -- simply noticing my un-generosity with interest and kindness often helped it to subside and soften.”
Some quotes to reflect on
“Generosity ventilates the claustrophobia of self-absorption." Pema Chodron
“Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need.” Khalil Gibran
“If you knew what I know about the power of giving, you would not let a single meal pass without sharing it in some way.” Buddha
"Happiness is not made by what we own. It is what we share." Rabbi Jonathan Sachs
Google these titles to read four more wonderful stories
At the Corner Store by Alison Luterman
Wandering Around an Albuquerque Airport Terminal by Naomi Shihab Nye
The Cab Ride I'll Never Forget by Kent Nerburn
The Tire Iron and the Tamale by Justin Horner