When I began this blog, one of my goals was to talk occasionally about how language affects how we see the world. Linguists and anthropologists have written extensively on this topic. My intention here is to focus on language that shapes the foundations of our mindfulness and meditation practices.
Homelessness, autism, and cancer
When I was talking beginning to work with homeless people, a friend suggested I think about the difference between “he is homeless” to “he is a person without stable housing.” My daughter, who is a social worker, made a similar comment when I talked about someone with autistic. She suggested saying “she is a person with autism.”
For those who are skeptical and thinking about political correctness, I pose this question: Which are you more likely to say and why: “he is cancer” or “he has cancer”? This one is pretty obvious, but why? One response is that the person is more than cancer, that cancer does not define him. Precisely. Autism does not define a person and neither does homelessness. Language can change how we see a situation.
Sin
Another loaded word! Sit for a few seconds and reflect on what this word means, what images it conjures up. I recall my youth when a common prayer in church was “Father forgive me for I have sinned.” I was talking with an Episcopal priest and this word came up. He said that the etymology of the word sin is “to miss the mark” which, using an archery metaphor, implies more practice, more focus, to try again. Since that conversation, sin has never been the same!
Hope
I was at a retreat with Pema Chodron, a Buddhist nun who has written many wonderful books. She began one session saying that the inscription on the gates of hell in Dante’s Divine Comedy are “abandon hope all ye who enter here.” She encouraged us to give up all hope.
She went on to say that one cannot have hope without having fear that the hoped for outcome will not happen. In her book When Things Fall Apart, she writes on p. 40: “The word in Tibetan for hope is rewa; the word for fear is dokpa. More commonly, the word redok is used, which combines the two. Hope and fear is a feeling with two sides. As long as there’s one, there’s always the other.”
Jon Kabat-Zinn, creator of the famous Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Program, wrote that the basis of this 8-week program is to give up any hope of fruition. Jon has repeatedly emphasized the importance of attending to the quality of our attention to present moment experience. It is those moments that we change ourselves and our future.
I reflected on Pema’s and Jon’s words and I have come to agree with them. I find that when I am feeling despair or depressed, I have shifted to words like faith and trust. When I was diagnosed with prostate cancer and eventually had a prostatectomy, I didn’t say “ I hope this works out” or “I hope the cancer has not metastasized.” Rather, I found that I said words like “I have faith that I will be able to meet whatever happens.” That didn’t mean that I never had any down moments, that I never had fear. It meant that my response to those moments focused more on marshaling the resources I had to meet those periods of fear and despair.
Since not everyone is thrilled about giving up hope, I did some research. One response that I found helpful is that hope is generally associated with a specific outcome whereas faith is a more general sense of strength within. Faith is a complete trust; it is connected to acceptance and surrender and letting go. Hope is a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen.
I am not urging everyone to give up hope, but rather to reflect on the language that we use and how this language affects how we respond to the vicissitudes of life.
On a more humorous note, I was talking with a friend about this idea of hope and expectations, and he shared a phrase he got somewhere: “Expectations are premeditated disappointments.”
Trust
Lastly I want to mention Satish Kumar who made a peace walk in 1973-74 from New Delhi to Moscow, Paris, London, New York, and Washington DC, over 8,000 miles. One of the suggestions given to him by his teacher was not to take any money, trusting on the generosity and kindness of strangers. Recently, he gave a talk at the Plum Village Monastery, founded by Thich Nhat Hanh. He spoke of trust as one of the most powerful qualities we can develop. I find trust and faith to be wonderful companions, well worth reflection and contemplation. I also recommend Kumar’s books, and you can view his talk by typing Satish Kumar Plum Village in You Tube.